In this post, I will reflect on the non- chess books I read in 2019. You can find a similar post about chess books on my other blog Chessentials.

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The Year Of Non-Fiction

In 2019, I read 42 non-chess books. ¹

The good news is that I read about a wide majority of topics. Of course, the standard self-help topics like improvement and habit building, as well as the ever so interesting relationships and dating were present.

However, in 2019 I took an increasing interest in trying to figure out the world around us. I read a lot about the effects of the Internet and technology on an individual and on society as a whole. But I also read some other interesting books that try to explain a unique phenomenon of modern society, such as Bullshit Jobs or The Death of Expertise.

In addition, toward the end of the year, I stumbled upon two great books about mental health and psychiatry, which shook my beliefs so much I had to include one of them on the Best Books list.

The bad news is that, even though I started the year with the two books of the Wheel of Time series, I mainly read non-fiction books in 2019.

It is not bad in itself, but there are several problems connected with devoting all your reading time to “smart” intellectual books. Toward the end of the year, I got fed up with non-fiction.

I also realized I am not enjoying reading as much as I should. Since I have some problems with being constantly productive and doing something “useful”, I have problems with permitting myself to enjoy things in life. I don’t think it is a good sign when it starts manifesting itself in an activity such as reading and it is definitely something to be aware of in 2020 (and years to come).

Of course, that is not to say I didn’t enjoy at all. In 2019, I read some great books, I laughed a lot while doing so ² and I satisfied my inner nerd and “adult improver” ³ by learning a lot about a variety of topics.

Therefore, without further ado, I present you the list of 5 Best Books I read in 2019 (and another 37 book reviews)

5 Best Books I Read In 2019

1)   Harriet Lerner – The Dance of Anger: A Woman’s Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships

Harriet Lerner is a psychotherapist who has written several books about family and intimate relationships. In her first ⁴ book, The Dance of Anger, she focuses on the effect and manifestation of anger in primary relationships.

Based on numerous examples from her own therapeutical praxis, she describes important therapeutical and psychological patterns that emerge in our interaction with our closest family members. She then describes how one can turn anger from the very thing that reinforces these patterns and keeps us stuck to a tool that helps us change them and our relationships to blossom.

Even though the book is heavily based on feminist theory and intended primarily for women, I think it is useful for both men and women.

I certainly found it heavily relatable. Ever since I entered psychotherapy, my relationship with my family changed a lot ⁵ and I went through a number of phases described in the book.

Reading about other people who went through something similar and feeling less alone was useful in itself. But the book also supplemented the knowledge and work I did through therapy perfectly.

I got a better understanding of anger and various behavior pattern I (and other people) exhibit when expressing it. I learned why people often form triangles – complain to third parties about a person when it is not even present. I learned the definition of over-functioning, under-functioning and distancing, and how being reactive is counterproductive because, even though it is an apparent demand for change, it is the very thing that prevents us from achieving that change.

Overall, I believe (hope) this book was an important step on my journey to the mythical land we all hope to reach one day.

The land of maturity.

2) Nassim Nicholas Taleb – Antifragile

Nassim Nicholas Taleb is a Lebanese-American scholar, statistician and risk analyst. He previously worked as an option trader and works as a guest professor at a number of universities. In the last few years, he published several well-received books.

In the last year, I read all of them and constantly got struck by the brilliance of his mind and his broad erudition. Even though I wouldn’t make a big mistake if I selected a list solely comprised of his books, I have ultimately decided to pick Antifragile (just slightly ahead of the Skin in the Game – see later).

The book introduces the concept that many systems are actually antifragile in nature – that occasional small perturbations actually have a beneficial effect because they prevent catastrophic consequences in case of large perturbations (Black Swans).

Throughout the book, Taleb demonstrates that many real-life systems are antifragile in nature, such as the human immune system, children when we raise them, aircraft industry, stock market, etc.

I think the world would be a better place if everyone understood this idea (or at least took them from Taleb as face value) because we wouldn’t, for instance, advocate renewable energy sources at the expense of the nuclear energy if we understood that rare events such as Chernobyl and Fukushima ⁶  actually increased the safety regulations and security standard in nuclear power plants worldwide. ⁷

3)   Vaddey Ratner – In the Shadow of the Banyan: A Novel

Following the total failure of the Game of Thrones Season 8, ⁸ I stumbled upon an article claiming we have become incapable of learning more about tragic events if they aren’t served to us in a form of fantasy.

The same article suggested a better way of learning about tragic events is to listen to the people who actually went through them. It mentioned the book In The Shadow of the Banyan as a perfect example, so I decided to pick it up and give it a try.

The result blew my mildest expectations. The book is set in Cambodia in the 1975-1979 period and follows the life of seven-year-old girl Raami as the Khmer Rouge regime shatters her childhood dreams and wreaks havoc on her life, her family and country as a whole. Even though the book describes a “fictional” family, it talks about horrible real-life events and obviously has autobiographical elements, as Vaddey Ratner herself lives through the Revolution to tell this tale.

The book is beautiful, but also incredibly disturbing, emotional and intense. As someone only vaguely familiar with the Khmer Rouge regiment, I didn’t know the extent of the horror it exerted on the country and its people. Through the prism of death, suffering and violence, the book vividly describes the collective tragedy of the Cambodian people and makes you wonder how on Earth is one person able to display such a lack of empathy toward his compatriots.

Ratner’s powerful storytelling and mastery of the language are guaranteed to invoke feelings of despair, but also hope and inspiration that there are strong individuals whose resilience enables them to transcend suffering, cruelty and loss.

4)   Ha Joong Chang – 23 Things They Don’t Tell You About Capitalism

Ha Joong Chang is a South Korean economist and an employee at the University of Cambridge, who became well-known for his criticism of the modern version of capitalism and the tendency of the rich nations and corporations to get even richer at the expense of the less-developed ones.

In his book 23 Things They Don’t Tell You About Capitalism, Ha Joong Chang singles out 23 “eternal truths” commonly proclaimed by the proponents of the modern version of capitalism – free-trade neoliberalism – and argues they are nothing but truths. For example, he claims that there is no such thing as a free market, most people in rich countries are paid more than they should be and that free-market policies rarely make a country rich.

Through 23 chapters, the author makes a strong argument that the implementation of the modern financial and free-trade policies has actually slowed the growth of many developing countries, increased the difference between the rich and the poor and mainly benefited the financial sector.

I particularly like that the author makes his points in simple, non-technical language. The writing is very clear and understandable and he doesn’t retort to using complicated and barely understandable economical terms and definitions (as a matter of fact, he points out that many complex economical terms and definitions have been invented solely because it benefits the financial sector). While reading it, you get the feeling everything the author talks about is so common-sense and blatantly obvious.

One final note. Although anything that criticizes capitalism is often perceived as anti-capitalism ⁹ it has to be mentioned that this is not a book against capitalism per se

It is a book that criticizes our current implementation of capitalism – free-trade neoliberalism.

5)   Robert Whitaker – Anatomy of an Epidemic: Magic Bullets, Psychiatric Drugs and the Astonishing Rise of Mental Illness in America

One of the theses of Antifragile was that small “disturbances” within the human organism are beneficial because they strengthen the immune system and prevent bigger problems in the future. ¹⁰ Consequently, he mentioned that some diseases are caused by iatrogenic – unnecessary intervention and treatment of the patient where no treatment and cure was necessary.

Unsurprisingly, on Taleb’s Twitter, I stumbled on books devoted to the iatrogenic in psychiatry: the Anatomy of an Epidemic ¹¹. I immediately picked it up and started reading it and it didn’t take long for it to shake my beliefs.

The topic of the book is mental health and psychiatric drugs and problems connected to it. The main points of the book can be summed up as follows:

• The author challenges the prevalent notion in the psychiatry (and psychopharmacy) that drugs are the best way of treating mental issues.
• He disputes the chemical-imbalance theory about the origins of mental illnesses according to which they are caused by a lack/surplus of certain neurotransmitters in the brain because of the lack of scientific evidence.
• Consequently, he questions the viability of psychiatric drugs whose operation is based on the inhibition/stimulation of neurotransmitter receptors in the brain. He quotes several clinical studies where various drugs were barely (if at all) more effective than a placebo
• Moreover, he not only claims drugs are not doing as much good, but question whether they are actually doing harm since they change the brain chemistry permanently. He mentions that the majority of clinical trials of psychiatric drugs focus on short-term effects and that very few examine long-term effects. Yet, we all know stories of people who got “completely numb” once they got on medication
• He describes how psychiatry as a field has benefited from the “medicalization” of mental illnesses
• He describes how some pharmaceutical companies “exploded” after releasing certain “magic pills”
• He describes how certain pharmaceutical companies don’t uphold the highest standard in their clinical trials (did you know that the bestselling drug Prozac was rejected in Germany in the 1980s and was deemed “unsuitable” for depression treatment?)
• He describes the mutually beneficial relationship between these two fields and quotes a number of examples of psychiatrists receiving ridiculous sums of money to act as the “speakers” ¹² on behalf of pharmaceutical companies

Now, I am not an expert and I am not competent to determine whether all the studies mentioned by Whitaker are methodologically viable, or whether the statistics he uses are 100% trustworthy.

Also, the majority of the problems he mentioned in the book are US-centric. ¹³

Finally, I have never taken any psychiatric drugs myself ¹⁴ and I know a number of people who benefited from the use of antidepressants.

I am therefore trying to maintain my skepticism and to be careful not to denounce the medications (and psychiatry) completely.

However, I do think they shouldn’t necessarily serve as the first line of the defense and that it is important to open the discussion about the potential implications of their overuse.

Besides, Whitaker himself says they have a place in psychiatry, but that drug use should be considered with great care:

The real question regarding psychiatric medications is this: When and how should they be used? The drugs may alleviate symptoms over the short term, and there are some people who may stabilize well over the long term on them, and so clearly there is a place for the drugs in psychiatry’s toolbox. However, a “best” use paradigm of care would require psychiatry, NAMI, and the rest of the psychiatric establishment to think about the medications in a scientifically honest way and to speak honestly about them to the public.

Another 37 Book Reviews

1) Robert Jordan, Bryan Sanderson – Wheel of Time: Towers of Midnight: Book 13

Ironically, even though I didn’t read a lot of fiction this year at all, I started the year with the penultimate tome of Robert Jordan’s magnum opus Wheel of Time.

Incidentally, since Robert died before he got to finish the series, the final two books were written on the basis of his notes by fellow fiction writer Bryan Sanderson. Jordan’s family searched two years for a man worthy of this challenge and Sanderson didn’t disappoint.

I won’t delve too much into the story. Allow me just to say that I hold WoT in higher regard than both Game of Thrones and Lord of The Rings.

2) Robert Jordan, Bryan Sanderson – Wheel of Time: The Memory of Light: Book 14

The culmination of the whole series resulting in Taimor Gaidon or or the Last Battle of the Dragon Reborn against the Dark One.

A beautiful end to a beautiful saga. Can’t wait for the Amazon TV Series 🙂

3)   Adam Gazzaley, Larry Rosen – The Distracted Mind: Ancient Brains in a High Tech World

One of the topics that interested me a great deal in 2019 was the effect of the technology, Internet and social media on our brains and behaviour.

Even though the field is too young to be heavily (and accurately) researched and even though there is a tendency to overestimate the dangers connected to the modern-day benefits, ¹⁵ I do believe that, as with every new technology, there are inherent dangers awaiting.

The Distracted Mind focuses on some of these dangers that are relatable. For example, it describes how constant interruptions and “let-me-check-SM” breaks reduce our productivity.

But more importantly, it also mentions that smartphone usage can be dangerous because a great deal of car-crashes every year is caused by distracted drivers (and passengers).

In any case, the book is a sort of a plea for us to restore our attention and I think it has a good point.

4)  Tom Nichols – The Death Of Expertise

I picked this book up after reading Mark Manson’s great article: 5 Books That Explain Why it Seems the World is so Fucked. It explains a rising phenomenon (enabled in great part by the Internet) that everyone can be an expert on any topic nowadays, while the real experts are dismissed and rarely listened to.

In the world of the Nuclear effect, conspiracy theories and anti-waxers, this book is of paramount importance.

5)  Jonathan Haidt and Greg Lukianoff – The Coddling Of The American Mind

Another book I picked up from the aforementioned article, which talks about the growing culture of “safetism” and “helicopter parenting” and the problems adolescents face in the United States, which apparently result in less mature and overly sensitive teenagers and young adults.

6)   Eckhart Tolle – The Power Of Now

When I first made my notes for this book, I emulated my inner Tony Miles and wrote just two words: “Utter Crap”.

I don’t have much to add here. Probably the worst book I ever read. I was already suspicious when I saw the introduction in which the author claims it changed many lives. But when I saw the content consisting of an endless series of cliches and “Be present” moments derived from the Buddhist philosophy, I quickly got annoyed and gave it up before finishing.

7)   Amir Levine & Rachel Heller – Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find and Keep Love

A book about the attachment theory and how the classification of people into four attachment styles: secure, avoidant, anxious and anxious-avoidant manifests itself in the relationship dynamics and behaviour.

8)   Giovani Guareschi: Don Camillo and His Flock (reread)

A series of humoristic stories set in a little village in Italy in the post-WWII era, that follows the parish priest Don Camillo and his constant clashes with the mayor Peppone – the leader of the Communist party. The effect of humor is brilliantly achieved by the fact that don Camillo is everything but not your average priest. He is tall, big and strong and perfectly capable of defending himself on his own against the ‘Reds’. In a number of stories, he resolves disputes with the use of the physical force.

However, humor is not the main reason I am so fond of this book, but it’s inherent warmth. Even though they are nominally on the opposite sides, in the majority of stories Camillo and Peppone end up working together and display hidden affection for each other.

I like how the author exposes the grotesque of both ideologies by placing the main characters in concrete, everyday life problems and demonstrating that the best way to deal with these issues for them is to deviate from their beliefs and the norms prescribed by their ideology.

For me, this is one of my all-time favourite because it promotes the idea that humanity and true friendship transcend social constructs and political ideology.

9) Maria Konnikova – The Confidence Game: Why We Fall For It… Every Time

A very innovative and entertaining book about the greatest con artists in the history that explains how they operated and why their, often quite absurd schemes, managed to work.

10) Tim Marshall: Prisoners of Geography: Ten Maps That Tell You Everything You Need To Know About Global Politics

A very interesting book that offers a unique view of global politics through the lenses of geopolitics and geopolitical interests.

11) Nassim Nicholas Taleb – Fooled by Randomness: The Hidden Role of Chance in Life and in The Markets

Together with Antifragile (and other books, some of which will be mentioned in this article), Fooled by Randomness is an integral part of the Taleb’s book series Incerto devoted to managing risk and uncertainty.

Every book covers a different aspect of risk management. Fooled by Randomness focuses on the human tendency to explain random events as non-random and seek causality where causality doesn’t exist.

12) Nicholas Carr – The Shallows: What the Internet is Doing To Our Brains

After the Distracted Mind, this was the second book I read on the dangers of the Internet and technology and how they affect our brains.

Even though it is popular to write anti-technology and anti-social media articles/books nowadays ¹⁶ The Shallows make a very compelling case against over use of technology through the prism of the neuroplasticity of the brain, or, its tendency to adjust continually through individual’s life, due to which our capability to sustain attention or to think/work deeply, without interruptions, is slowly (but surely) eroding.

I like the fact that the book is not absolutely anti-technology and that everything depends on HOW we use technology. However, since the role of technology is not to enable us to go “in the zone” in the first place, he advises us to exercise care:

When we go online, we enter an environment that promotes cursory reading, hurried and distracted thinking, and superficial learning. It’s possible to think deeply while surfing the Net, just as it’s possible to think shallowly while reading a book, but that’s not the type of thinking the technology encourages and rewards.

13) David Graeber – Bullshit Jobs: A Theory

A fascinating and unique book dedicated to the rising amount of the so-called Bullshit Jobs, provisionally defined by the author as:

A bullshit job is a form of employment that is so completely pointless, unnecessary, or pernicious that even the employee cannot justify its existence.

Apart from my capability to relate with a greater portion of the book (especially the “pretend to work” culture), I liked the fact that this is not just another millennial “corporate job is boring” kind of lamentation, but rather a well-structured, organized and argumented thesis on the socio-economic origins and reasons for the existence of the Bullshit jobs and what we as a society can do to change it.

14) Cal Newport – Digital Minimalism: On Living Better With Less Technology

Cal Newport is a computer science professor at Georgetown University who writes a lot about the intersection of culture and technology.

His latest book, Digital Minimalism advises us how to develop a healthy attitude toward technology, the Internet and social media. However, in contrast to more popular, radical ways of dealing with it (Delete it!), Newport suggests us to determine which aspects of technology attribute to our lives and which serve as clutter and than shaping our behaviour and technology usage on the basis of these merits.

15) James Clear – Atomic Habits: An Easy and Proven Way to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones

A book on the habit building by a great expert on the topic. The book provides us with a great deal of useful (and understandable, common-sense even) advice we all kinda know, but tend to forget. I have applied some of the tips recommended by Clear, but I still have a long way to go when it comes to developing healthy habits.

Maybe in 2020 🙂

16) Mark Manson – Everything is Fucked: A Book About Hope

Everyone who has read at least one of my articles already knows that Mark Manson is a sort of semi-god for the author. Considering I already christened his two first books as life-changing I awaited his newest book Everything is Fucked: A Book About Hope with great anticipation.

It may be surprising, therefore, not to see it on the “Best Books” list. I am not sure if it is a result of my heightened expectations, but I was left somewhat disappointed with this book.

I have a feeling (which Mark himself confirmed later) that, following the success of his previous book Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, the author wanted to write something even more grandeur, overall and valuable.

The result left me a bit puzzled as I wasn’t sure what Everything is Fucked is exactly about. I figured it is conceptually focused on the modern world, but it wasn’t clear to which aspects of the modern world exactly, as it talks about technology, modern development, philosophy, AI, algorithms, etc.

That is not to say that it isn’t worth reading. But I think the best parts of the book (in particular the “Guide to Humans” chapter) were already published on his blog anyway.

17) Jaron LAnier – Ten Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now

Another book warning about dangers connected with social media usage, with a clickbaity title.

On one hand, it does raise a fair amount of relatable arguments. On the other hand, we need to keep in mind that there is an anti-social media sentiment that might not be fully justified.

I don’t think radical steps as deleting social media accounts are necessary.

Just awareness of how and why we use them.

18) 9u and Jocelyn K. Glei – Manage Your Day-to-Day: Build Your Routine, Find Your Focus and Sharpen Your Creative Mind

Another book on the habit building, slightly less scientific and slightly more sensationalistic and clicheistic than Atomic Habits, but still full of useful practical advice.

19) Steward Gordon – Beethoven’s 32 Piano Sonatas: A Handbook For Performers

This year I got fascinated by Beethoven’s 32 Piano Sonatas, so I wanted to buy a book to find out more about them.

It turned out that Steward Gordon’s tome is a Manual for Performers that presents the measure-by-measure structure of every sonata, with a healthy dose of musical theory and interpretative advice.

I somehow think I was not the target audience for this one”

20) Harville Hendrix – Getting the Love You Want: A Guide For couples

A good (and popular) relationship book full of concrete tips and practical advice derived from the author’s long therapeutical experience aimed at improving your relationships.

Although the focus of the book is romantic relationships, it also covers other important people around us and – just like Harriet Lerner’s books – claims that the best way of improving your capacity for intimacy is by improving your primary (family) relationships.

21) Jonathan Haidt – The Righteous Mind: Why Good People are Divided by Politics and Religion

A philosophical book that tries to explain the growing divisions and tribalism in the postmodern society through the lenses of moral psychology and the study of the morality of the likes such as Jean Piaget and Lawrence Kohlberg.

Haidt defines our innate need to feel right and describes how morality relies on intuition and not reasoning, then applies these individual characteristics to group behaviour and explains why groups united by a set of beliefs can get very hostile very quickly.

22) Nassim Nicholas Taleb – Skin in the Game: Hidden Asymmetries in Daily Life

When I first started assembling the Best Books list, I knew I would have to include (at least) one book by Nassim Nicholas Taleb. The problem was, I had a heavy time deciding between Antifragile and Skin in the Game.

The latter is another brilliant, funny, entertaining and important book in which the author introduces the concept of “Skin in the Game”, which can be best summed up as “putting your money where your mouth is” or “taking full responsibility for your actions”. ¹⁷

In the era of life coaches, marketers, politicians salesman and financial advisors who tell you what to do without suffering the consequences of their wrong decisions (and therefore, don’t have any “skin in the game”, compared to, say, doctors), this book is highly relevant and important.

23) Jaron Lanier – Who Owns the Future?

Another insightful book about the role and the future of technology that raises a lot of questions. First of all, it made me wonder to whom the goods in the digital era belong (if you buy a book on Kindle, you can’t lend it to another person and is, therefore, is still owned by Amazon). Even though a lot of what we take for granted is free, the author points out there are many hidden price tags attached to it.

Also, it points out the irony that all the technological products and services we use on a daily basis are viable only because a small group of people work under heavy conditions (most often in China).

24) Nicolas Cole – Confessions of a Teenage Gamer

An autobiographical book in which the author talks about his teenage years during which he got heavily immersed in the World of Warcraft game. He reflects what the game meant to him and how it affected his relationship with his parents and siblings and makes a general observation about the role and attitude toward computer games in our society.

This book is extremely beautifully written (Cole is a creative writing graduate) and was heavily relatable considering I also used to play World of Warcraft as a kid and that I also dream of making a living out of activity (chess) many people consider useless ¹⁸ The fact that the author endured many trials to get so good in the game and even to make money once he started writing about it was heavily satisfying and inspiring.

I read it in one sitting and now I almost regret I didn’t include in the Best Books List.

25)  Harriet Lerner – The Dance of Intimacy: A Woman’s Guide to Courageous Acts of Change in Key Relationships

After having my mind completely blown by the Dance of Anger, I ordered all the other books by Harriet Lerner available and started reading them one by one, beginning with the Dance of Intimacy, which talks about our intimate relationships and ways of changing them for good.

To an extent, the Dance of Intimacy overlaps heavily with the Dance of Anger (and all other Harriet Lerner books). The familiar concepts such as: change is possible only without reactivity or “triangles help manage anxiety in families” are also mentioned here.

But the book tackles them through a different angle, talks about other topics as well (e.g. why men are less prone to sharing their emotions) and is worth reading because of Harriet Lerner’s overall psychological and therapeutical expertise.

26)  Ryan Holiday – The Obstacle is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph

Ryan Holiday is a bestselling author and well-known marketer, who has written several books and who, due to his young age, can be regarded as a superstar. His book Obstacle is the Way was distributed among NBA stars and NHL teams, so I ordered it with high expectations.

And was deeply disappointed.

The book is an attempt to present the stoic philosophy in a modernized and approachable manner. For me, the result is an endless series of phrases and cliches (“Obstacles are internal”, “Learn from your failures”, “Do the most when it is the hardest”) that sound good, but ultimately don’t mean anything.

I was honestly annoyed as I was reading this book and wouldn’t recommend it to anyone.

27) Harriet Lerner and William Morrow – The Dance of Fear: Rising above Anxiety, Fear and Shame to be Your Best and Bravest Self

In contrast to all other books by Harriet Lerner on this list where the emphasis is on the relationships with other people, the Dance of Fear is more focused on dealing with negative internal feelings such as anxiety, fear and shame.

Among other things, we can read why it is a bad idea to compare yourself to other people (and what can we do to deal with it) or why our society doesn’t promote self-acceptance.

It has to be mentioned that Harriet’s empathy and writing style that made the Dance of Anger so great once again shine!

28) Harriet Lerner – Why Won’t You Apologize? Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts

Another book from the pen of Harriet Lerner. Even though in this one, the emphasis is on admitting your mistakes, saying sorry and apologizing, to an extent it incorporates other important ideas mentioned in her other books, such as dealing with your anger or investigating your family history, in a slightly different flavour.

29) Thomas Hobbes – Leviathan

Every now and then, I try to pick up a classic book, only to find it unreadable. In the past, I did so with Nietzsche’s and Kant’s works, and Leviathan is no exception.

I know these are the books you are “supposed” to read, but I don’t see a point in reading a book I don’t enjoy the slightest bit and have difficulty understanding.

30) Harriet Lerner – The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You’re Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed or Desperate

The final book by Harriet Lerner I read this year and the one that is most similar to some of her other works, mainly The Dance of Anger and The Dance of Intimacy. The topic is once again making a deeper connection with the people around, with the emphasis on the family members. Concepts such as examining your family roots and developing boundaries are once again pivotal throughout the book.

31) Nassim Nicholas Taleb – The Bed of Procrustes: Philosophical and Practical Aphorisms

Another one by the infamous Mr. Taleb, this time full of Twitteresque dicta et sententiea – short aphorisms in which he demonstrates the extent of his wit, sharp tongue and provocative discourse.

Take the following as an example:

Most people fear being without audiovisual stimulation because they are too repetitive when they think and imagine things on their own.

Or:

Someone who says “I am busy” is either declaring incompetence (and lack of control of his life) or trying to get rid of you.

My favourite:

The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary.

You got the point by now.

The difference between love and happiness is that those who talk about love tend to be in love, but those who talk about happiness tend to be not happy

32) Ryan Holiday – Conspiracy: A True Story of Power, Sex and a Billionaire’s Secret Plot to Destroy a Media Empire

Since I usually buy multiple books by the same author simultaneously ¹⁹ after being thoroughly disappointed with The Obstacle Is The Way, I didn’t expect much from Ryan Holiday’s latest book, Conspiracy.

However, I was pleasantly surprised by his narration of the story of how Peter Thiel (the founder of PayPal) embarked on a seemingly impossible mission of taking down the Gawker tabloid which published the uncensored Hulk Hogan sex tape which was filmed without the latter’s consent.

Sure, some traits of Ryan’s writing still did bother me (adding a flavour of grandeur to every other sentence, in particular).

But it is a good story and his storytelling does keep you at the edge of your seat.

33) Jonathan Rowson – Moves That Matter

This is technically a chess book that was featured on my list of Best Chess Books 2019.

However, due to its philosophical nature ²⁰, I have decided to feature it on this list, as well.

You can find my in-depth impressions in the afore-mentioned post about chess books.

34) James Davies – Cracked: Why Psychiatry is Doing More Harm Than Good

When I was decided to include a book about the problems in the world of psychiatry to the Best Books list, I weighted heavily between Anatomy of an Epidemic and the second book I picked up from the Nassim Nicholas Taleb’s Twitter – Cracked: Why Psychiatry is Doing More Harm Than Good.

The premise of both books is similar – dispute of the chemical imbalance theory, a number of clinical studies that show that antidepressants aren’t more effective than a placebo, etc. The nuances and the concrete stories are different – Cracked devotes more attention to how DSM was assembled and less attention to the difference between psychosis and depression.

But the main points remain the same.

35) Edward Shepherd Creasy – The Fifteen Decisive Battles of the World: From Marathon to Waterloo

Even though I am a huge history buff, I didn’t enjoy this 19th-century book by the English Historian and jurist, Edward Shepherd Creasy.

Not because it is badly written (on the contrary, the research is outstanding, especially if we consider when it was published). But because I have realized I enjoy stories and background of the big battles more than the battles themselves.

36) John Gottman and Joan De Claire – Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family and Friendships (reread)

John Gottman is considered to be the greatest living expert on human relationships. He and his associates at the Gottman Institute developed a method according to which they can predict whether a couple will remain together for >10 years on the basis of a 15-minute conversation with 90%.

In the book Relationship Cure, he talks about the process of bidding in relationships, which is basically aking to asking for attention from your partner/friend/parent/child. He explains that couples who do well in the long-term bid more frequently and respond positively to each other’s bids more often than the couple who ultimately divorce.

This concept is applicable to other relationships and Gottman provides the readers with a toolbox that helps him navigate this difficult aspect of adult life.

37) Matthew Walker – Why We Sleep: UNLOCKING THE POWER OF SLEEP AND DREAMS

Last but not least, the book by sleep scientist Matthew Walker on the importance of sleep scared the shit out of me as me stumbling on it coincided with a period where I was completely lacking any sleeping discipline.

The reason it shook me is the claims that lack of sleep is connected with a higher risk of cardiovascular diseases, cancer, mental health issues and a whole other array of psychosomatic disorders.

Later, it transpired that the data can’t be fully trusted as the author cherry-picked the studies. But even so, I will really try to prioritize my sleep in 2020 ²¹ because my experience aligns with the main message of the book.

38) Nathaniel Brandel – The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem

Finally, I concluded the year with another self-helpish book. The author describes six pillars of self-esteem:

• Living Consciously
• Self-Acceptance
• Self-Responsibility
• Self-Assertiveness
• Living Purposefully
• Living with Integrity

and how they can be developed in childhood, in school, in the workplace and in psychotherapy.

It is definitely not a bad book in itself. But considering I have been reading fiction almost exclusively and read other books on similar topics it didn’t resonate with me.

1. You know your obsession with chess has gone too far when you divide your books in chess and non-chess categories
2. Thank you, Nassim Nicholas Taleb!
3. Hi there Ben Johnson!
4. And probably the best
5. I actually have an article about this topic ready but I am not yet ready to publish it.
6. The former, in particular
7. Not to even mention that “catastrophic effects of the nuclear tragedies” are overexaggerated. In his newsletter, Mark christened it the Nuclear Effect syndrome – the fact that people who know nothing about Nuclear energy claim it is dangerous based on their perception despite all the evidence that it is the most economical source of energy.
8. Sorry fanboys, it was – just like a book I mention later in this article – utter crap.
9. Or, more precisely, as “communist crap”, according to respected Internet commentators and intellectuals
10. Yes, anti-waxers, that is how vaccines work
11. And also Cracked, which will be reviewed later
12. read: marketers
13. I remember reading somewhere that >70% of Americans is prescribed to at least one pill
14. As Taleb would say – no Skin in the game
15. For example, for a while it was believed there is a correlation between depression and social media usage. Some people were skeptical, but recently this study got released, almost refuting these claims. It turned out all the studies confirming this correlation relied on cherry-picking of the data from the same pool
16. As will become apparent later in this article
17. Author’s own definition of Skin in the Game can be read in this article
18. BuT yOu DoN’t PrOdUcE aNyThInG).
19. Very responsible and advisable policy, right?
20. And the fact it allows me to cheat and increase the book count
21. There you have it – a New Year Eve’s Resolution